


Affect Me

by thewriterinpink



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-09 22:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11678259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterinpink/pseuds/thewriterinpink
Summary: Bruce is stressed after a long day of things going wrong and hopes to get rid of that stress through beating up baddies. Unfortunately, there aren't that many out that night, so he resigns himself to go home and wait the feelings out.Only to find Joker sitting in the driver seat of the Batmobile, waiting for him.





	Affect Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote a long time ago that I finally decided to upload. It's short, but I like it.

Bruce had been having a pretty bad day. The type of day that made your bones feel like weights in your body and boatloads of coffee was the only thing keeping you from crashing through the earth. Nothing seemed to be going his way; a traffic jam on his way to work and making him twenty minutes late to his own meeting, a business deal falling through, a bad publicity scandal in the papers and an ex popping up unexpectedly at the coffee shop were just the worst of the things that happened to him today. Bruce Wayne, the half-playboy half-businessman, had been absolutely desperate to get the day over and done with.

 

And get the night started.

 

There was a tenseness to his whole body, most notably in his shoulders and jaw and Bruce was glad to find some thugs and rough them up a bit.

 

It wasn't enough though. The stress of the day prevailed and Bruce found himself crouched on the hood of the Batmobile hours later, jaw clenched and wishing for more of a challenge. All that was in the streets tonight were petty criminals; muggers and drug dealers and slow-moving thugs. Nothing a few hits couldn't handle.

 

He shouldn't really wish for something more. Gotham was safer tonight. He should be happy. He certainly shouldn't let his own selfish desires overtake him.

 

Sighing, Bruce got off and made his way around the vehicle. He pulled the door open and moved to get in.

 

Except someone else was already there.

 

Bruce internally flinched in surprise, but outwardly as Batman didn't move a muscle.

 

Sitting in the front seat where Bruce usually sat was none other than The Joker himself. Joker was in his usual purple suit, grinning up at him. The sight was certainly disconcerting. It wasn't like The Joker had never been in the Batmobile before, it was just he'd never been in the driver's seat. His bright colors were much more noticeable with the black interior of the Batmobile as a backdrop.

 

“Hiya, Batsy! Mind if I hitch a ride? My, uh, _tire_ sprung a leak.”

 

Bruce tensed further with this new development – before his whole body relaxed seconds after, the familiarity of The Joker oddly soothing on his mind and body.

 

He stared at Joker for a very long time before finally he thought to speak. Joker watched, openly curious.

 

“...What are you doing, Joker?”

 

The Joker's eyes sparkled and he laughed. It echoed off the enclosed space of the high tech car.

 

“I'm sorry, Bats! I didn't realize old friends such as ourselves weren't allowed to break into each others cars and ask for rides! I guess I should have asked first before going in, huh?” There was pure glee in Joker's eyes.

 

Bruce didn't respond.

 

Joker pouted.

 

“See, you always do this to me, Bats! I talk and talk, but you never contribute! Not ever. And no, one worded answers and grunts don't count,” Joker sing-songed as he wagged a finger at Bruce.

 

“Move.”

 

Joker laughed in delight.

 

“Ooooo, getting impatient are we, Batty-boy?” He smiled and gave Bruce a playful wink. He then made a show of pressing more into the cushioned seat.

 

Joker sent Bruce a sly look.

 

“Move? But I've gotten so _comfortable_ here. I'm not certain I'm willing to do that.”

 

Bruce's hands turned into fists at his sides, clenched tightly.

 

“ _Move_. Or get out.”

 

Joker paused, a look of interest passing over his painted features. He tilted his head at Bruce and peered at him almost hesitantly.

 

“Does this mean you'll give me a ride?”

 

Once again, Bruce was silent. Joker seemed to read something out of his silence though because his whole face lit up and he moved to the other seat with ease. He clapped his hands as Bruce slid in beside him

 

The seat was warm. The Joker had been here for a while. Possibly during the whole time Bruce had been gone taking out petty criminals. That should irk him, but it didn't. Instead, it just made him confused.

 

Joker had been waiting for him. Why?

 

“Yay! A joy ride with the big old bat! All the other crooks will be _so_ jealous,” he said, leaning toward Bruce and talking inconspicuously behind a cupped hand. No one else was here to overhear so the whole thing was strangely commercial.

 

Bruce ignored him for now and buckled his seat belt. Beside him, Joker did the same, squirming excitedly as he did so. Bruce pulled the Batmobile out of park and sped off into the night, the car completely silent.

 

“No they won't,” Bruce despite himself replied to the Joker's ramblings, not looking at his passenger. “They've been in here before. So have you.”

 

“No no no.” Joker shook his head wildly.

 

“No, you don't get it, Batsy! Those were after you won and brought our sorry behinds back into the sugar palace. _I_ get a ride with you free of charge! No icky pills and smelly cells in exchange for a one-on-one time with you, darling~!” He batted his eyelashes at Bruce and Bruce's hands tightened on the steering wheel.

 

“How do you know my destination isn't Arkham? Climbing into my car was a stupid idea.”

 

“Oh, you're probably right. It is so worth it though to see your tall, dark and handsome again.” Joker's eyes went half-lidded and he sighed longingly.

 

Bruce glanced briefly his way before returning his eyes on the road.

 

Joker squirmed in his seat once more and slouched, eyes trained on Bruce's profile. It was somewhat distracting, but oddly not uncomfortable like it was supposed to be when someone stared at you for too long.

 

“Hmmm,” he hummed, rolling his head against the back of the seat, eyes falling shut, “is something wrong?”

 

Bruce's eyes snapped quickly at The Joker, but he just looked peaceful, a small smile curving his lips. He opened his eyes and caught Bruce's, smile widening. Bruce looked away.

 

He grunted.

 

Joker giggled.

 

“Oh, _come on_ , sweetums, it's obvious something is bothering you! You didn't even notice I was in here! Not to mention that half an hour brooding session you had _before_ finding me.”

 

“...I wasn't brooding.”

 

“But you don't deny you were crouched on the hood of your car for half an hour doing nothing, Batsy? Which is worst to admit to, I wonder?” Joker tapped a finger to his chin, grin stretching his face.

 

“It was a nice night,” Bruce defended.

 

The Joker's giggles turned into full-grown laughter.

 

When he was done he said, “You crack me up, Batsy.”

 

He seemed genuinely happy. Bruce didn't know what to make of that.

 

Joker suddenly grew serious and sat up a little.

 

“So, what is it? What makes a bat tick and cause such unrest in him? I'd like to know, Bats. Since we're such great friends you shouldn't hesitate to tell me!” He leaned forward as though waiting for a secret to be revealed.

 

“We're not friends.”

 

“Oh, but are you certain.”

 

“Quite.”

 

“Maybe you need to look deeper into yourself. You may be surprised at what you find! Like us being friends. Or your repressed sexual desires for me.”

 

Bruce almost drove into a pole.

 

“ _What?_ ” he growled under his breath, staring straight ahead and hands subconsciously tightening around the steering wheel further.

 

“Whoops.” Joker placed a hand to his mouth, feigning surprise and remorse. “Did I say that last one out loud?” He smirked seconds later.

 

Bruce contemplated stopping the car and kicking The Joker out, but decided against it. Joker was probably trying to rile him up. It wouldn't do him any favors to show The Joker that he succeeded.

 

So he decided to turn the conversation away from where it was currently at.

 

“I just had a bad day.” He kept his words brief.

 

Joker nodded in understanding.

 

“Ah. And you wanted to fight all the stress out, doll? I gotcha. Maybe you should stop the car and I should, uh, help fight it out for you? You can be as rough as you want, Batsy, I don't mind. In fact, I love it. Make me black and blue, darling.”

 

Bruce knew it had to be a really bad day if he was contemplating actually doing that.

 

“No,” he eventually got passed his uncooperative lips.

 

Joker pouted, but then a mischievous smile crossed his face. He suddenly, quick as lightning, moved his lips to Bruce's ear and spoke, voice smooth as red wine pouring into a glass.

 

“Well, if you don't want to do that I do know other ways to, um, _relieve_ stress, if you get my drift, _Bats_.”

 

Bruce's foot pushed hard on the brake and the Batmobile lurched to an abrupt stop. Joker, who had been balancing on his knees, swayed and fell into Bruce, forehead pressed to his shoulder. The seat belt kept him from falling anywhere farther out of the seat.

 

The Joker laughed, breathlessly, but didn't say anything more.

 

Bruce took this time to try to calm down. That had shocked him. More than it should have, probably. It wasn't like he wasn't used to Joker saying stuff like that by now. But...

 

He wasn't usually this close.

 

“You weren't on your way to Arkham after all.” Joker broke Bruce out of his conflicting thoughts.

 

Bruce looked at him out of the corner of his eyes, questioningly.

 

Joker looked up, moving his head slightly, but not getting up. There was a small pleased smile on his face, different from his usual ones.

 

“You passed right by the entrance to the road four blocks ago. Zoomed right by it.”

 

Bruce looked behind him and at the street he was on. The Joker was right, he had missed the intersection four blocks back. He looked back at The Joker when he spoke again.

 

“I wonder. Did you mean to, consciously or subconsciously, or did I distract you? Either would be fine to me, Bats,” he sighed, nuzzling Bruce's shoulder.

 

Bruce swallowed roughly. Suddenly, he wasn't sure either.

 

“Why?”

 

Joker blinked at the question before slowly pulling himself back into his seat, seemingly reluctant. He wasn't looking at Bruce anymore.

 

“Because that means I affect you. Just like you do me.”

 

Silence hit the car and Bruce studied Joker, seeing him differently than he had the whole night and still, always and forever, trying to figure him out.

 

After too long, _way too long_ , Bruce realized, he moved the Batmobile forward again and they continued driving. Joker, meanwhile, was looking out the window, a tiny frown on his face.

 

They stayed like that until Bruce stopped the car again, right where they had started. He cut the engine and stared at the dashboard. Joker looked around, confused.

 

“Hey, Batsy, what's g-”

 

“Joker, you do affect me.”

 

Joker shut his mouth, searching Bruce's face, even though he was only seeing the bottom of it, shaded eyes and a cowl.

 

Bruce took a deep breath and let it out. He wasn't really certain what he was doing, but he felt a strong force inside of him that was urging him to speak his mind. Only Joker, out of all of Bruce's rogues, could make him feel this way.

 

That made Bruce feel like his words were true, even if he had never let himself think too heavily on the subject. The Joker _did_ affect him; made him miss things he'd otherwise would not because Bruce's focus was entirely on The Joker. He brought such emotions in Bruce, highs and lows, that no other had managed and somehow all it took was just one word or phrase and Bruce was _feeling_ despite his best attempts to stay detached. The Joker made him angry, _furious_ , sometimes, but then he sometimes made him feel almost... calm.

 

Such conflicting emotions made his relationship with Joker all the more complicated. All the more frustrating. Bruce couldn't even identify most of the emotions the clown made him feel.

 

Joker affected him alright. It was the only explanation for why he was telling Joker about it. Bruce was highly aware Joker could use this against him. Making this known to The Joker would make him realize he had power over Bruce. Make Joker think he had won something in this sick game of his.

 

Yet The Joker didn't seem ready to use it any time soon. Instead, he seemed lost, his gaze on Bruce asking for something.

 

Something Bruce thought he could give. It only came down to if he was willing to.

 

Bruce looked at his hands on the steering wheel. He could feel his knuckles turning white at how hard he was clutching it even if he couldn't see them.

 

He spoke.

 

“I was... _frustrated_ with the day's events. You're right. I wanted to fight it out, but there wasn't enough energy in the fights to stem my feelings. I was just going to go home and... wait it out. I can't sleep when I'm like this.” Bruce frowned and shook his head.

 

The Joker was quiet.

 

“But then you showed up and instead of fighting you and throwing you back in Arkham like I should have done, I indulged you and brought you in the Batmobile with me for a ride.” Bruce turned his head to look at Joker, who was staring right back, listening and for once not a trace of humor in his expression. Not a trace of anything, really.

 

“You asked why I didn't take you to Arkham. I think I wanted the company, even if I didn't know it. You were...” Here was where Bruce stumbled over his words, the uncertainty of admitting his next thought giving him pause. “...helping me forget about the day,” he eventually conceded.

 

Bruce looked away before he could see Joker's response to his words. He shouldn't have said all that. He felt better though after saying such things like a huge weight had fallen off his shoulders. The whole thing felt right for a reason Bruce wasn't ready to admit.

 

After his speech, the vehicle was silent. It felt like an eternity before Joker moved, unbuckling his seatbelt and looking at Bruce, nervously licking his bottom lip.

 

“Uh, that might be the longest I've ever heard you speak in one go, Batman. Maybe you should speak like that more often? Become one of those quipping superhero's that continuously talk while they fight! You have such a pretty voice!” He grinned, but there was an oddness to it. Just like his voice.

 

Bruce snorted even though he hadn't meant to. Joker's eyes widened and his grin grew more genuine. The sight of laughter, however small, from Batman of all people sent the Joker into little chortles.

 

A smile tugged at the corner of Bruce's lips which he decided not to hide. The two stared at each other; a small smile and a wide grin. Bruce was the first to look away.

 

Joker took the hint and turned, pushing the Batmobile's door open. Before he left, Joker turned back to Bruce and waved a hand in farewell, the remnants of the previous grin still on his face.

 

“Glad I could help, Bats! And thanks for the ride! Though maybe next time you could take me somewhere special instead of where we started?” He peered through the door at Bruce hopefully.

 

Bruce pretended to be checking his gas meter to buy him some time. He started the car and out of the corner of his eye saw Joker deflate.

 

Bruce made a split second decision. Hopefully, he wouldn't regret it.

 

“If you stay off the streets and away from crime long enough, we'll see.”

 

Bruce tried to ignore the feeling in his chest when Joker brightened.

 

He laughed. He then looked at Bruce and smiled, something secretive in the gesture.

 

“Can't make any promises, sweetheart! You know how it is.” He winked and shut the door with a loud slam. He then twirled on his heal a few times before walking away, whistling a happy tune as he went.

 

Bruce watched him go with something light and comfy in his chest that spread throughout his body, warming his insides. He turned back to the road and headed back home.

 

He had better sleep that night than he had had in years.

 


End file.
